Because it’s a Journey…Life update 7.24.18

 

As Robert Frost rightly said,

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life – it goes on “

Well, I’m nowhere near the great leader in terms of life achievements, but that is pretty much what’s been happening during the past few months of my life. It’s been happening, and whoa, at what pace!

I know, I know- you might want to see some pictures or videos of the stuff gone by – I don’t have any! Life is more in the moments, than in pictures, I believe. Living each moment to its fullest is my philosophy of life, or at least has been- for the past few months now. There is so much to experience; honestly, being totally present in the here and now gives me much more pleasure than capturing those moments in a camera (though I do love to take that occasional shot, to keep memories). And anyways, mindfulness- being aware of the present- is the in-thing these days.

SO, WHATS THE DEETS…

The past two months have brought in many life-altering situations my way. Each and every experience has taught me something new, helped me gain perspective and grow as a woman.  They’ve helped me learn more about myself. They’ve shown me the power of self-decision.

These experiences have been total blessings for me. It is quite different to go through your life in a flow and to actually feel the “present” and the moments that life-changing scenarios are happening to you. And I realised that I have much more control over which way I take my life than what I would allow myself to admit. This has been a breakthrough journey for me. Well, for those of you wondering what exactly happened, I shall write about it for sure–in a future post.

NOW I KNOW

As important it is to understand and recognise your own strength, it is equally valuable to have an unbiased support system. I have been truly blessed regarding both. These experiences have changed me, and for the better!

  • I realized how strong and fearless I am!
  • I feel closer to my dreams now, more than ever.
  • I’m not allowing life to just “happen” to me anymore. I have taken control of the reins now to create a BOLD BOSS life for myself.
  • I’m going to invest hard in growing my ventures
  • Working hard is important, but working smart is more important. Hard work should always be balanced. I learned this necessary lesson the hard way.

With bubbling new ideas, there is so much happening and still so much more to come, stay tuned folks!

BE BOLD BECOME BOSS…OF YOUR LIFE

I feel life is a series of events and experiences. It is important to be secure in yourself, important to become the best version of you that you can become- rather than being a people-pleaser. People will come and go out of your life, that’s inevitable. Though as a bold boss woman, your priority should be to make sure that you are fine, happy and well. Your well-being comes first.

I’ve taken a step towards doing things on MY TERMS. Firstly, I’m doing something new with my hair-I’m colouring them, some beautiful highlights. Though I have always been a person to essentially “go against the grain” or even challenge it, it’s now time for me to really embark on a journey of my own and create this beautiful canvas which I call my life.

Work-life balance- that remains the ultimate goal for now. Till then, Cheers and keep rocking!

 

Life… The Update

Well, with so much that is going on, I am still grateful to have been living an amazing life. Despite many changes these past few weeks, I’m optimistic with the idea that every change progresses to reach my ultimate goal(s).

 

This personal blog is like a therapy where I can relay my thoughts in hopes to help other women who may be dealing with similar situations – those who can relate to my own experiences. As I continue to face life’s day-to-day challenges and “hurdles,” I’m still able to find gratitude knowing that frustrations won’t last a lifetime though things may not be what I’ve been “expecting.”

 

Recently, I have been working on transparency in all areas of my life. Understanding things don’t change unless I change. For so long as I think of success as something that naturally flows with hard work. Though this is true, I am learning that real sustainable success comes only when YOU decide to make the changes within yourself. At any point regardless of what others may be doing, I will consciously commit to making adjustments suitable for me… and my life. No outside energies or circumstances would “determine” what the change(s) should be.

 

This is just another big leap for this life-changing season of my life. Its funny as overcoming many of my previous accomplishments is sometimes surreal even to me. One thing’s for sure… it is NOT EASY! Indeed, life has its indefinable ability to show you what you’re really made of. Life’s setup motivates, and sometimes, pressures you to pass through a series of “phases” before you can say “I’m successful.” There were days I thought I would not make it through but thankfully I did and remain positive to hit my final destination.

 

It came to a point when I just was to share thoughts through writing. Pardon my incapacities as I’m still on a working progress, making adjustments one at a time. Still doubting how this will reach you yet I’m highly motivated to pursue. Yes, it can be overwhelming and isolating due to the emotional and financial strain of all the process. And being a woman in a male-dominated industry myself, it can really take a toll. I can honestly say though that I’m now an entirely different person than I was a year ago. To be fair, there are still moments of questioning whether it’s “all worth it” and if I’m making things right especially because the tangible results are yet unseen. I am also learning to focus success based on my own views and perceptions.

 

“Success is not final; failure is not fatal: the courage to continue is all that counts.”

A Work in Progress… Everyday Live & Learn

Great things are coming soon; you can be certain of it! Sometimes, it definitely doesn’t seem that way and that’s because we can’t always see around the corners in our lives. But the important part of any journey is to keep pushing forward as that’s the only way you’ll get ahead.

 

For me, I’ll tell you how I know. When I look back, I know for sure that I am definitely not the woman I was ten years ago, or even five. But even now, I know I’m still a work in progress—everyday I live, I learn. So trust me when I say I understand how you feel. Maybe you’re not where you thought you should have been by this age, or maybe you’ve not achieved all the goals you set for yourself. But detours and delays are part of life’s journey, and you have to accept them with the same gusto and positive outlook as you take the successes and achievements.

 

Don’t start comparing yourself with others your age either; that’s bad for your health. Instead, try to chart your own course, while taking into consideration your own wishes, strengths, resources, weaknesses and opportunities. Someone else’s achievements are not a yardstick to measure yourself. Set your own goals and go for them at your own pace.

 

One thing you must understand is that the way life is set up, you’ll always be a work in progress. This simply means that you’re never done or ‘perfect’. Every day that you live and learn more, you get the opportunity to grow and become even better. Just remember that perfection is not the ultimate goal – you simply want to live your best life. And your best life will change at every stage of the game.

 

How can you be prepared for it? Open your mind to learning new things. Do your best to meet new people and talk about new, unexplored topics. Travel and spend time visiting new places or places from your past that you were never able to appreciate before. Look out for open doors of opportunity and when you see closed ones, don’t be afraid to knock. Everything you learn will contribute to the quality of life that you are able and open to living.

 

So, don’t worry about where you are right now too much. Focus on what’s ahead and embrace the journey. As long as you’re a work in progress, there’s so much to look forward to!

 

XO, Amber Christe

Boo, Be Unapologetically… YOU

For me, much of the novelty of scrolling through Instagram these days is lost in the same-ness of everyone’s posts. So many people post such same-looking content that it might be easier to start categorizing people by the content they share on social media. Think about it – you have the Instagram Model – vital stats 32-22-48, dressed in a thin-as-skin bodysuit complete with a glossy pout that looks like it’s about to start dripping.

 

Then you have the ab-fab gym team, oiled to perfection and buffing in every crevice, beautifully inspiring and body-shaming simultaneously. Don’t forget the Woke Folk, Nearly-invisible Trolls, The Next Top Rapper and Fetty Wap’s Baby Mommas Club—all seemingly categories of people you can find on social media…and worse, in real life. But the question of the day is, where do you fit into the overall matrix? That is, if you even fit at all?

 

Now before you become alarmed and start freaking out about the fact that you might actually be a modern-day freak-show given that you don’t fit into any of these pre-defined categories of people, calm down. In case you don’t already know it, your signature differences are beautiful and your uncommon ability to stand out is extraordinary, especially in a world where people try so hard to fit in.

 

Ever heard the saying, ‘Be yourself, everyone else is taken’?

 

We’ve yet to find the lie in that one line. That being said, let’s talk about why being true to yourself and who you really are is super important in your pursuit of the Bold Boss Life. Let’s start off with some honesty. When someone asks you to tell them a bit about yourself, what do you say? Then after you answer that, think about this…is what you said true? Is it something you’re proud of? Is it the real you? Or is a you that you’ve cultivated to fit in or fit society’s standards?

 

Hmmm…

 

In Rollo May’s book, Man’s Search for Himself, he says, ‘…the opposite of courage in our society in not cowardice, it’s conformity.’ The first time I read that, I felt like I had been socked in the stomach. Of course, I could relate because of all the times I thought I wasn’t good enough, slim enough, tall enough or just enough enough of something so I tried to be like someone who was.

 

Bad idea.

 

Being someone else is such hard work that you’ll eventually (hopefully) find that that’s time better invested in finding and nurturing yourself and who you really are. But how do you do even do that? Where would you even start. It’s simpler than it sounds.

 

Start making a list – what are you good at, what are you bad at, what can you improve on, what do you like about yourself, what don’t you like, which of these do you have the power to change? What makes you happy, what makes you sad, what do you enjoy doing, what do you hate doing?

The best thing about it is that you don’t have to answer to anyone about these questions except yourself. And it’s in that honesty that you find the true you. Be unapologetic and unashamed in who you truly are and you’ll leave your own authentic and original mark on the world, instead of trying to fit into someone else’s footprint.

 

 

 

Turning that ‘Dream Life’ into ‘Real Life’

No one ever got an award for their good intentions. And if they did, they definitely didn’t deserve it. The same goes for you and your dreams.

 

Yes, you dream of a mansion in the hills, a garage full of cars and a bank full of money but what are you doing to achieve it? Are you sitting around at home watching reality stars enjoy the things you wish you had while you pine around, feeling sorry for yourself and hashtagging your sorrow on Twitter? Or are you going out there and doing everything you can to make those dreams a reality?

 

The truth is, so many of us have dreams, but lack the desire to get up and make them come true. We want the world, but we sit in a pool of procrastination, hoping that it will one day land in our laps. But that approach my friends, is more hazardous than ever and will only result in disappointment.

 

Do you think your dreams are too big? Do you think you don’t have what it takes to make them come through? If that’s your line of thought, you’ve already defeated yourself. First things first, wake up and smell the coffee. Then, decide what you want out of life and go for it.

 

I’m not trying to underscore or discount the struggle…I understand what a lot of us go through as young women – whether it’s the lack of resources, support, inspiration or just the drive to go out there and take what we want from the world. Some of us practically shiver in fear at the prospect of being disappointed so we’ll never go out there and take the risk that takes us right to the gateway of our dreams. That’s something I can tell you about first-hand.

 

But until we decide to get up and seize our power, we’ll forever sit around dreaming and wishing about what could have, should have or might have been.

 

That, my friends, is boring as hell.

 

In pursuit of the Bold Boss Life, we have to strive towards overcoming our fears, and being bold enough to do what we want and fulfill our purpose. We also have to be willing to make mistakes and learn from our failures. We also have to be tenacious and unyielding in the drive towards what we want, and learn how to stick to whatever it is we set out to achieve.

 

Too many of us have dreams, ideas and goals that end up in the wasteland of regret. So many doors of opportunity have presented themselves to us but we’ve either been too afraid to knock or even open them. Can you relate?

 

Well, that’s fine. Whatever happened in the past is not something you should hold against yourself. But the blame is all yours if you don’t do something about your future.

 

What’s standing in between you and your dreams? Let’s talk about it in the comments below. I want to help you turn the life you’re living now into the Bold Boss Life you’ve always dreamed of.

 

XO, Amber Christe

Being Bold …. and Free

I can always distinctly remember an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians where Momager and Marketer Extraordinaire, Kris Jenner, wanted to channel Miranda Priestley from The Devil Wears Prada. It was the usual Kardashian brouhaha – blonde wigs, fur coats and the over-sized designer sunglasses – but in the end, Kris Jenner was over it. And in the famous last words of any woman as she tried to remove her blonde wig, Jenner noted, ‘…being somebody else is a lot of work…’

 

A truer statement can hardly be found anywhere else, if you think about it. Here you are – awesomely flaw-some, but instead of loving that particular aspect of yourself, you’re there secretly wishing you had it like someone else – because you don’t like your eyebrows or your legs don’t curve the way theirs do. I’m not going to bash you for it–it’s only human to have insecurities. What you do about it, however, is the difference between you being just another insecure chick versus a Bold Boss Babe.

 

But first…let’s talk about why it’s so important to be Bold.

 

In 2012, after years of experimenting with various types of music and personalities, Caribbean queen Rihanna released her seventh album dubbed, ‘Unapologetic’. Brash, feisty, unorthodox and rebellious were just some of the top words used to describe the album – but the word I’d favor for this album is ‘Bold’.

 

Why?

 

After ditching her sweet-girl image image that was preened and prodded to perfection, we started seeing more of who Rihanna grew up to be in the music industry. More and more, she started to emerge – showing her edgier, fun-loving, sometimes downright sinister beauty side that we’ve come to understand is more her than another commercially-prepared pop star. She was unlike the others, showing raw emotion in her work, all in fierce defense of who she truly was. And look at Rihanna now – a true Bold Boss Babe, if there ever was one.

 

She could have been afraid of being open about who she was. Would she still be a much-loved pop icon? Would she still be liked by her fans? Would she continue to grow in the music industry if she allowed more of herself to show instead of trying to fit the tried and proven pop-star mold? Maybe not. But this is a risk she boldly took, and look how being unapologetically herself paid off?

 

Hands up if some of your own coins have made it into the Fenty coffers!

 

Now, there’s plenty to be learnt from this. Sometimes, we’re so afraid of being ourselves because we’re afraid of what we perceive to consequences or we don’t know if we’ll be rejected or disliked. Often times, we sacrifice our individuality to conform to the norms or fit in because we’re taught that being different is bad and that we have to be more like other people to be successful or worse, just to be liked and accepted.

 

I think it was Robert Frost that said it best: ‘Freedom lies in being bold.’

So if you’ve been afraid of standing in your own light or being true to your own self, stop sitting in the shade. What’s holding you back from being you? Is it you?  Self-acceptance is not a simple task, I myself have struggled with this. But I’ll tell you this much…once you start living boldly and unapologetically, you become free to be the boss of your own life.

 

What’s standing in the way of your boldness and freedom? Tell me in the comments below and let’s talk about how you can turn these obstacles into stepping stones towards living your Bold Boss Life.

 

XO, Amber Christe

Ready to live the Bold Boss Life?

Many times when I look back at it, 2017 was not my year at all. Sometimes I feel that way about 2018 too, and we’re only in the third month. From heartbreak and heartache to disappointment and just plain ol’ ‘Damn, why am I not Beyoncé yet?’… so much can come in between you and your dreams in a year…or even less. Does that mean it’s not your year yet? Not even close.

When I do take the time to wipe the murky pessimism smeared across my glasses, however, I realize that every year is MY year. In fact, it’s been that way from the day I was born! Because in between the heartache and the heartbreak were invaluable life lessons I didn’t have to borrow a student loan to learn; and disappointment is always accompanied by a hard dose of reality that’s better than what any doctor could have ordered to cure you from your seemingly incurable bout of ‘head-in-the-clouds-itis’.

Too often, we’re so caught up in all the things that went wrong, or the things that didn’t go the way we planned that we completely miss all the things that went right, and the blessings we picked up along the way. For many of us (not counting the devout Christians who talk to God everyday as they should), the only time God hears from you, it’s to say, ‘Please may I have…’.

When was the last time you prayed just to say, ‘thank you’? When was the last time you looked at all the things you do have, instead of what you don’t? How about the last time you took inventory of the talents you have, instead of moaning about the fact that your life is a mess because you can’t sing like Whitney Houston or smack a Grand Slam like Serena Williams?

That’s what living the Bold Boss Life is all about…Issa lifestyle!

It’s YOUR year to quit sitting around whining about who you aren’t and what you’re not. It’s time to reclaim your power, take stock of your talents and start charting your own path to success – on your terms and by your definition. It’s time to decide what you want out of life, and designing the path that’s going to take you there.

We’re not going after the breadcrumbs left in the path by someone else – no! You’re going to blaze your own trail and make your own mark on this world – because that’s what bosses do. And in case you haven’t realized it yet, that’s what you are! Only you control your destiny, because only you know what you can do versus what you’ll need help with, and only you can define your own success.

A quote by David Viscott comes to mind as I write this, ‘The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away’. That said, I’ve received many blessings and lessons that I know can help another woman like myself find her way in the world, and chart her own success. This blog is my way of sharing these gifts and helping you find your inner boss.

We can all win—once we accept who we are and start doing what we need to do to achieve our dreams. So be blameless in acceptance of who you are, what you’ve done, mistakes you’ve made and lessons you’ve learnt. And live shamelessly in pursuit of what you want from life.

Ready?

I know I am!

XO, Amber Christe

#BBL Inspiration: Play Your Cards Right

BBL Inspiration

“You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt. You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding” -Cheryl Strayed

Ever felt like your life would have been better if you were born a different person? Perhaps, you’d have a husband already if you were tall, thin and blonde, or maybe you’d have your dream job as a doctor if you had been born to rich parents…

The fact of the matter is that you weren’t born that way and if that’s what’s holding you back from your dreams, then you’re crap out of luck. See, you could have been born with a gold spoon in your mouth and still starve. And you could have gone to the best school money could pay for and still never learnt a thing. Because who you are and what you’re capable of doing has absolutely nothing to do with the conditions under which you were born.

Life dealt everyone a hand of cards from the same deck; how you play is what will make the difference. Think about some of the people who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks and still came out to be something. Look at Eminem, Dr. Ben Carson, Gabrielle Douglas…all the people who took the cards they were dealt and still stuck around to play the good game.

What will you be doing with your hand of cards?

XO, Amber Christe

Can you ever be ready to face failure?

What are you afraid of?

Some of us are afraid of spiders, lizards, the dark…basically anything that has the creepy-crawlies or gives us the heebie-jeebies. My fear – failure.

Let me get really transparent with you – I used to be so terrified of failing, it had me googling my symptoms and expecting to die. Atychiphobia happens to be a real thing –and I’m still recovering from it. I used to be so afraid of failing that I would deliberately sabotage any opportunities that presented me with a chance to fail. I’d get the cold sweats, nervous stomach-aches and nausea that saw me slamming closed any little doors of opportunity that dared to open because as far as I was concerned, not trying was a lesser sin than failing.

Thankfully, I discovered over time just how harmful this was. By that time, however, I was already drowning in a pool of regret, missed chances and opportunities that really only pass by once in a lifetime. When I realised that the biggest barrier between myself and my dreams was fear, I felt nothing short of shame.

When I calculated all that I had achieved, I found a far too many shoulda-coulda-wouldas, and not enough ‘been there, done thats’. Then I started wondering about where I would be if I had taken even half those chances I had been offered in my lifetime. Not the most comforting feeling, I’ll give you that much.

The good thing is, it’s never too late to start over. And, for want of a better cliché, anytime one door closes, another one opens. Now, I’ve evolved from fearing failure to having a strong dislike for not taking chances I’m offered in life.

It all starts with changing your mind-set.
Let’s see if I can explain it with a bit of logic: if you don’t take risks, you don’t become eligible for the rewards. If you don’t try new things, you’ll never learn anything new and your world will shrink down the size of just what you already know. That’s no way to live!

So take it from me when I tell you this –don’t be afraid to go out there and grab the bull by the horns. Do something that takes you outside of your comfort zone. Try a new shade of lipstick, take a different route to work, go on a date with the guy who texts you ‘Good morning beautiful’ every day without fail or just try ticking something off your bucket list.

Fear is one heck of a dark curtain to live behind, and the world offers so many beautiful views. So, if you’re ready to live your bold boss life, start by facing your fears. Don’t sweep them under the rug and hope they’ll sink into the floorboards. Face them head-on and start living like it was one purpose!

Shamelessly and blamelessly.

XO Amber Christe

Melanin Monday Motivation

Winning Potential


Very often, we hear people saying, “I was born a winner”.

Now if that’s not one of the most ridiculous, self-serving, un-humble things I’ve ever heard, then I don’t know what is. Because if some of us are “born winners”, that inadvertently means that the rest of the poor suckers who weren’t born that way must be losers.

And since God don’t like ugly, why would he do that to any of his precious sons and daughters?

That’s because he wouldn’t.

We were all born with the potential to win; and on your way to winning, you’ll find that you’ll lose many times over. Doesn’t mean you’re a loser either; you have the potential to win as long as you stay in the game.

The true key to success here is learning all you can from your mistakes – after all, sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

How do you keep yourself motivated after experiencing failure?

Thanks for Visiting AmberChriste.com!

I have no doubt that you’ll find something here that’s just for you – whether it’s a cool style tip or yummy recipe, or maybe just an observation that can inspire you or one that you can relate to.

How do I know this?

Well it’s simple. This blog was written just for you. A young woman who, like me, is on a journey through life – trying to figure it out and make it work as best as you can. Whether you’ve just graduated from college or you’ve been around the block a few times, I’m here to have a conversation with you. Let’s talk about the things you’re happy or proud about, the things you’re confused about and don’t know your way out of – I want us to figure it out, together.

Some things I can tell you about for sure. I’m always happy to share advice, tips and strategies that I’ve personally tried and tested, and answer your questions if you ever just need a sister to talk to. Now, I’m no high-flying inspirational speaker with a book-full of hypotheses and theories for how you should live your life.

Nope!

I’m just a woman who’s seen it, lived it and would like to share what I’ve learnt with you through this blog. I won’t offer you made-up stories and pie-in-the-sky fantasies here either – what you can expect is my honesty, real life experience (the good, the bad and the stuff-I-really-could-be-ashamed-of-but-learnt-from-instead) and the most positive thoughts and wishes for you.

So, with that said, let’s start talking! Drop me a note at me@amberchriste.com or leave a comment under your favorate post. Let’s connect and start living our best lives!

xoxo

Amber